Hive Resources

A Site to Sweeten Your Walk with Christ

  • HOME
  • Heart and Hive Shop
  • BOOKS
    • Crowned
    • Daughters of the King
      • FAQ about Daughters of the King
    • Sweeter than Honey
  • Online Bible Studies
    • Captain of my Soul – 1 Timothy
  • ABOUT
  • The Hive

A must-have book for helping women who miscarry

May 7, 2015 By: demingglobal11 Comment

After Sunday worship recently, I could sense a friend was upset. When I inquired, she mentioned she was miscarrying. I did what I knew to do — I hugged her. And then I hugged her again.

Last week my sister texted me. “I have a friend who had a miscarriage. What can I do for her?” Immediately, I replied: “Take her a meal!”

For those of us not acquainted with miscarriage, it can be an isolating and strange kind of grief. I know this grief personally, I’ve had three miscarriages. The first two were what doctors consider routine; the third was a particularly difficult as I was further along in my pregnancy. In both instances, women around me hugged me and loved on me by bringing me meals.

You don’t have to serve in women’s ministries very long to encounter a woman suffering from the tragedy of miscarriage. Although you would never know from the very little we speak about it or hear about it from Sunday pulpits, miscarriage is a common event. Yet, the sadness from the loss of a pregnancy is so unique that the church is often left wondering how best to minister to women walking through this circumstance.

This Mother’s Day, it’s my honor to recommend a new resource written by my friend Jessalyn Hutto.  Inheritance of Tears: Trusting the Lord of Life When Death Visits the Womb is a biblically-faithful and thoughtful account of God’s sovereignty over and through miscarriage.

Why I recommend the book:

A must-have book on miscarriage for all womens ministry leaders {Hive Resources}Packed into five little chapters, Jessalyn offers hurting women wisdom, comfort and hope while leading them to the cross of Christ, their ultimate source of comfort.

–She offers wise counsel regarding practical questions of grief. For the woman who wonders if her miscarriage is her fault or if she could have prevented it, Jessalyn draws their attention to the salve of the gospel.

–She speaks from the big picture of life, opening her book with a primer on the impact of sin on a woman’s body.

–She beautifully links God’s sovereignty to God’s goodness for women who doubt the Creator’s trustworthiness for allowing their miscarriage.

–She offers sweet prayers for hurting mothers at the close of each chapter, giving women a chance to digest the rich doctrine covered in each section.

And because she wisely guides the reader through the different levels of emotional suffering entailed in miscarriage, I would recommend that every women’s ministry leader purchase and use Inheritance of Tears as they serve women walking through this difficult circumstance. Despite hard the circumstance of miscarriage and the equally hard truths Jessalyn explicates in her book, women ministry leaders must be prepared to give biblically-informed comfort to the hurting women in their care. Inheritance of Tears is a must-have book for helping women who are suffering from the “unseen grief” of miscarriage.

Special thanks to Jessalyn for providing me a copy of Inheritance of Tears to review. For more information about the links in this post, click here.

About

Melissa Deming is the creator of Hive Resources — a site to help women sweeten their walk with Christ through Bible study, ministry and missions resources, and more. She is the author of "Daughters of the King: Finding Your Place in the Biblical Story." Melissa has an M.Div. in Women’s Studies from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary.

  • Mail
  • |
  • More Posts (292)

Read Along (Chapter 3): Viewing your spouse as crowned by God

October 16, 2013 By: demingglobal13 Comments

Welcome to the Read Along for Daughters of the King: Finding Your Place in the Biblical Story! Today we’re covering Chapter 3. Still need to buy your book? Grab it on Amazon or Paypal.Read Along for #DaughtersoftheKing (Ch 3): Crowned - viewing your marriage as a royal wedding

 

Somewhere along her journey to the altar, the bride is made to believe that her wedding day is all about her.

Slick marketing pieces and glossy magazines reinforce the message that her wedding day is her day. In the midst of flowers and seating charts, weddings centered around the bride can turn an otherwise demure belle into a raging bridezilla.  For a ceremony that is supposed to be about two people becoming one, there is much ado made about only one of the parties.

Don’t get me wrong. There is a noble tradition in affirming the worth and dignity of the bride, especially if that esteeming trust shines from her groom. But if we, as women, fail to consider our husbands before our wedding day, we are much more likely to forget them after we’ve said our I Do’s at the altar.

It is, after all, all too easy to stop thinking of our husbands as our prince charming – particularly when we’ve spent a year-long planning process setting ourselves up as the Queen.

Perhaps we should take a cue from the Greek Orthodox Church. Based on Ps. 8, instead of exchanging rings, Greek Orthodox weddings include the exchange of crowns.

“When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers,
The moon and the stars, which You have ordained,
What is man that You are mindful of him,
And the son of man that You visit him?
For You have made him a little lower than the angels,
And You have crowned him with glory and honor.” (Ps. 8:3-5)

Scholar Stephen Dempster says: “In the biblical view, all weddings are royal, because all human beings are made in the likeness of the King of the universe. Can you imagine the implications for marriage in any culture if spouses began to treat each other with the royal dignity each deserves?”[1]

How do you view your husband? Crowned by God to bear God’s image? How do you view yourself? Crowned by God to reflect God’s love and godly character?

Our marriages are intended to be much more than vehicles for pleasure or safety. Our marriages serve as a reflection of our union with Christ – a binding, royal relationship.

The Bible uses the language of covenant to describe the nature of our union with God.

What is a covenant? Hive Resources

But a covenant is much weightier than a promise. Our covenant relationship with God is permanent. Once we step up to the altar and utter our trust in Him, our relationship cannot be broken or annulled – no matter how badly we mess up.

How can that be so? Our relationship with our Creator is not based on two equal parties – much like a marriage covenant. Our covenant with God is based on God’s ability and character to fulfill his promises as the stronger party.

Our God is eternal. Our God is Royal. And so is our marriage to him.

So, I’ll repeat Dr. Dempster’s rather uncomfortable question: can you imagine the change in your marriage if you began to view your husband with the royal dignity he deserves?

Do you view your husband as crowned? Do you view yourself that way? What changes do you think would happen in your marriage if you started viewing your earthly marriage relationship as individuals brought together in a royal wedding? Share your thoughts in the comments.

 

My Button

<a href=”http://hiveresources.com” title=”Hive Resources”> <img src=” http://hiveresources.com/wphives1/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Wednesdays-in-the-Word.jpg” width=”125″ height=”125″ alt=”My Button” style=”border:none;” /></a>

[1] Stephen Dempster,  “Genesis” in What the Old Testament  Authors Really Cared About edited by Jason S. DeRouchie (Grand Rapids:  Kregel  Academic,  2013), 63.

About

Melissa Deming is the creator of Hive Resources — a site to help women sweeten their walk with Christ through Bible study, ministry and missions resources, and more. She is the author of "Daughters of the King: Finding Your Place in the Biblical Story." Melissa has an M.Div. in Women’s Studies from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary.

  • Mail
  • |
  • More Posts (292)

So glad you’re mine

June 30, 2013 By: demingglobal13 Comments

i love you {Hive Resources}

Happy Anniversary, love!

I’m so glad you’re mine.

Love, Lis

About

Melissa Deming is the creator of Hive Resources — a site to help women sweeten their walk with Christ through Bible study, ministry and missions resources, and more. She is the author of "Daughters of the King: Finding Your Place in the Biblical Story." Melissa has an M.Div. in Women’s Studies from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary.

  • Mail
  • |
  • More Posts (292)

Ministry Monday: Praying God’s Word for Your Husband {Printable Prayer Cards}

December 3, 2012 By: demingglobal13 Comments

Welcome to Ministry Monday at Hive Resources! This series is for everyday women who minister through the everyday mission fields of life. Posts feature resources and ideas for discipleship, outreach events, women’s ministries, Bible study, hospitality, and more.

Subscribe today so you don’t miss any of it!

Need a great Christmas gift idea for the hubsters?

How about the gift of prayer?

You might not be able to wrap it up and put it under the tree, but it’s a gift given with eternal significance. I can’t think of anything that mirrors the self-giving love that was born in a manager on a Christmas night so long ago.

If you’re game, here’s how you do it.

Get your hands on a copy of Kathi Lipp’s new book, Praying God’s Word for Your Husband.

I heard Kathi speak recently at the Allume conference and I fell in love with her. She had me laughing so hard I was crying. I knew if someone could look at life with a godly perspective without sacrificing humor and joy, I had to read her book! And her book did not disappoint.

Here’s why I love the book:

  • While her book is not a theology book, the author rightly assesses the reasons women do not pray with greater power and offers practical tips for preparing the heart for prayer.
  • The author greatly convicted me to elevate my prayers for my husband as a measure of self-less service.
  • The author provides practical tips for meeting your husband where he is. She uncovers meaty verses that apply to a variety of situations your husband might face – praying when your husband is stressed, overwhelmed, unemployed, when he works too much, when he is struggling with finances, when he doesn’t know God, and when he compares himself to others.
  • The author helps the reader apply God’s Word toward her husband with simple prayers. I was surprised at the specificity that can come from applying the truths of the Psalms to my own husband. I think you will be surprised too! And while her prayers aren’t intended to be used verbatim or as a substitute for mining the truths of God’s Word yourself, they teach the reader how to draw out the main truths behind passages.
Here’s an example from her book:
For when your husband needs to be reminded of God’s love.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.” (Ps. 139:23-24)

PRAYER: “Search and guard his heart, O Lord! Keep him from dangers of the mind, from temptations and lies that will shroud him in darkness. Cast away anxious thoughts that filter the truth, and lead him into the light. Pull away the cobwebs of fear and shine a bright light on his path. Reveal to him your perfect truth. Bring the darkest lies of the enemy into the brightest light where they cannot survive. Guard and guide him always, holy Father, and never, ever let him go.” (Pg. 115).

Here’s what I didn’t like about the book:

  • The book was a little redundant. A few chapters had overlapping material. But if you are reading the book selectively by chapter or topic, this isn’t a big deal.
Overall , I loved Praying God’s Word for Your Husband.  It helped me focus my prayers for my husband and helped me assess any selfish motives driving my prayers for him. It was a quick read and would even make a great gift for a friend or family member.
Inspired to pray for your husband? Here are 4 free printable prayer cards utilizing passages and prayers Kathi Lipp suggests in her book. I hope you’ll print them out and put them on your dashboard, bathroom mirror, or by the kitchen sink.

(Click the image to download FREE printable!)

Merry Christmas!

Today I’m linking up with:

GraceLaced Mondays

 

 

 

 

 

 

About

Melissa Deming is the creator of Hive Resources — a site to help women sweeten their walk with Christ through Bible study, ministry and missions resources, and more. She is the author of "Daughters of the King: Finding Your Place in the Biblical Story." Melissa has an M.Div. in Women’s Studies from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary.

  • Mail
  • |
  • More Posts (292)

Invest in your marriage this Valentine’s (GIVEAWAY!)

February 14, 2012 By: demingglobal118 Comments

by Jessalyn Hutto of Desiring Virtue

[dropcap]N[/dropcap]othing says “I love you” like “I want to actively work toward loving you more sincerely, serving you more sacrificially, and honestly growing with you in the likeness of Christ this year.” Isn’t that what we all want for our marriages? Don’t we desire to year after year grow closer, stronger, and more unified as a couple? Don’t we desperately desire for our marriages to draw us closer to the Savior and to reflect him more clearly to a watching world?

Something my husband and I love to do is read books on the subject of marriage. Sometimes we read them together, sometimes we listen to them together (as in the old school audio books), and sometimes when that is not possible, we just read them individually.

The best part about reading a book together (even if you can’t read it at the exact same time) is that you can work together to understand and implement what you have just read. It gives you the opportunity to be intimately involved in the growth of your marriage. It promotes unity by allowing you to see as your spouse sees and allows you to understand what your spouse expects, feels, and desires from your marriage. There is an intimacy that grows as you are together challenged toward greater Christ-likeness and you are forced to speak of things that sometimes you would rather just went unsaid. Reading together is good, because it inevitably leads to talking together and growing together.

Today I would like to share a few of the best books available today that focus on the topic of marriage. These books are all great resources for couples who desire to grow both in their relationship together and in their relationship with the Lord. I would encourage you to make it a point to read at least one of them together this year as you seek to honor the Lord in your marriage. I would encourage you to buy one as a Valentine’s Day Gift for your husband to say: “I want to actively work toward loving you more sincerely, serving you more sacrificially, and honestly growing with you in the likeness of Christ this year.”

Three Marriage Books We Highly Recommend:


What Did You Expect?: Redeeming the Realities of Marriage

By Paul David Tripp

Publisher’s Description:

“Marriage, according to Scripture, will always involve two flawed people living with each other in a fallen world. Yet, in pastor Paul Tripp’s professional experience, the majority of couples entermarriage with unrealistic expectations, leaving them unprepared forthe day-to-day realities of married life.

This unique book introduces a biblical and practical approach to those realities that is rooted in God’s faithfulness and Scripture’s teaching on sin and grace. “Spouses need to bereconciled to each other and to God on a daily basis,” Tripp declares. “Since we’re always sinners married to sinners, reconciliation isn’t just the right response in moments of failure. It must be the lifestyle of any healthy marriage.”

What Did You Expect? presents six practical commitments that give shape and momentum to such a lifestyle. These commitments, which include honestly facing sin, weakness, and failure; willingness to change; and embodying Christ’s love, will equip couples to develop a thriving, grace-based marriage in all circumstances and seasons of their relationship.”

Why We Love This Book:

This book is real. It deals with the disillusionment that inevitably comes when we realize that our spouse is not the “perfect” person we thought they were. Rather than coming from a “Here’s how it should be…” approach, Tripp assumes you have come to the point where you see “how it truly is” and then shows you how Christ can heal, grow, and unify your marriage. It helps you to see God’s purpose in putting you together with your spouse and encourages you to practically love one another with the love that has been shown to us through Christ.

“What Did You Expect” is the number one book I recommend these days. I wish that every married person could read it, because it is truly eye opening. Click here to read more of what I think about this book

 


When Sinners Say “I Do”: Discovering the Power of the Gospel for Marriage

By Dave Harvey

Publisher’s Description:

Marriage is the union of two people who arrive at the altar toting some surprisingly large luggage. Often it gets opened right there on the honeymoon, sometimes it waits for the week after. The Bible calls it sin and understanding its influence can make all the difference for a man and woman who are building a life together. When Sinners Say “I Do” is about encountering the life-transforming power of the gospel in the unpredictable journey of marriage.

Dave’s writing style embraces the reader as he speaks honestly, and sometimes humorously, about sin and the power of the gospel to overcome it. He opens the delightful truth of God s word and encourages the reader to see more clearly the glorious picture of what God does when sinners say “I do.”

Why We Love This Book:

This book focuses on how the gospel effects the way you interact with one another in your marriage. One of the most helpful and encouraging chapters was on dealing with your spouse’s sin where Dave gives some very practical and challenging instructions. Click here to read more of what I think about this book.

 


The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God

By Timothy Keller

Publisher’s Description:

There has never been a marriage book like THE MEANING OF MARRIAGE. Based on the acclaimed sermon series by New York Times bestselling author Timothy Keller, this book shows everyone-Christians, skeptics, singles, long-time married couples, and those about to be engaged-the vision of what marriage should be according to the Bible.

Modern culture would make you believe that everyone has a soul-mate; that romance is the most important part of a successful marriage; that your spouse is there to help you realize your potential; that marriage does not mean forever, but merely for now; that starting over after a divorce is the best solution to seemingly intractable marriage issues. All those modern-day assumptions are, in a word, wrong.

Using the Bible as his guide, coupled with insightful commentary from his wife of thirty-six years, Kathy, Timothy Keller shows that God created marriage to bring us closer to him and to bring us more joy in our lives. It is a glorious relationship that is also the most misunderstood and mysterious. With a clear-eyed understanding of the Bible, and meaningful instruction on how to have a successful marriage, The Meaning of Marriage is essential reading for anyone who wants to know God and love more deeply in this life.

Why We Love This Book:

This book brings the important “God and your marriage” topic to light. It isn’t just about marriage, it is about God and your marriage. Why did God create marriage in the first place? Why does it matter? What are the implications of God’s design for marriage? Why did God create sex and what are the implications of that on our intimacy with one another? These are really important questions and Keller dives right into them in a beautiful, biblical, and thoughtful way. I will publish a full review of this book in the near future.

Want to win a copy of one of these books? Simply ‘like’ Hive Resources on Facebook! Then come back and leave us a comment telling us you did so! Be sure to tell us which book you have your eye on! For non-Facebook users, simply leave us a comment. If you’re already a Hive Resources fan, then share this article with your pals on Facebook or twitter! GIVEAWAY ENDS FRIDAY (FEB. 17) AT MIDNIGHT!!! GIVEAWAY IS CLOSED

According to Random.org, the winner is GINA! Congrats Gina – I sent you an email! Thank you to everyone who participated and especially Desiring Virtue! And be sure to subscribe to Hive Resources to stay up-to-date with our sweet giveaways!


Jessalyn Hutto is the author and editor of Desiring Virtue, a Christ-centered, doctrinally rich resource for Christian women who desire to bring honor to the Lord through their homemaking.  She and her husband, Richard, have two children, Elliot and Hudson.

Click here to read our disclaimer about the referral links in this post. We used elements from CreationSwap.com to create our header.

About

Melissa Deming is the creator of Hive Resources — a site to help women sweeten their walk with Christ through Bible study, ministry and missions resources, and more. She is the author of "Daughters of the King: Finding Your Place in the Biblical Story." Melissa has an M.Div. in Women’s Studies from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary.

  • Mail
  • |
  • More Posts (292)

Modern Girl’s Guide to Femininity

December 30, 2011 By: demingglobal1comment

Mark your calendars!  Our next hive launches  Oct. 17th! And this hive is for women of all ages and all walks of life!

Hive Resources: A Modern Girl’s Guide to Femininity asks the question “is femininity compatible with modernity?”  This hive will help you discover God’s plan for womanhood and apply Scripture’s teaching to your life as a woman of God – whether you are single, divorced, or married.

No matter your life season, God has a unique plan for your life – as a stay at home mom, grandmother, career gal, working mother, ministry mom, daughter, collegiate, or teen.

Here’s a preview of what this hive will offer:

  • [Oct 17] Seeking a better reflection: shattering the image of false femininity in reality TV by Melissa Deming. Melissa is a correspondent for The TEXAN newspaper and Crossroads magazine of the Southern Baptists of Texas Convention. She is also the creator of HiveResources.com. 
  • [Oct 18] Girl power giveaways! Resources, reviews, and giveaways to inspire you in your call to biblical womanhood.
  • [Oct 19] Fairy tale to God’s tale: lessons learned from an incurable dreamer by Terri Stovall. A wife and published author, Terri serves as the Dean of Women’s Programs at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Fort Worth, Texas. Her book, Women Leading Women, outlines a biblical paradigm for women’s ministry.
  • [Oct 20] Called to a higher standard by Sara Horn. Sara is a three-time author and creator of the online resource for military wives, Wives of Faith. Her latest book, My So-called Life as Proverbs 31 Wife, was published this fall. Sara is giving a copy of her book to one lucky reader!
  • [Oct 21] A modern girl-on-the-go guide to femininity. These online resources will keep you encouraged, edified, and equipped for ministry at home or at work.

You don’t want to miss this hive! We have some amazing resources to share with you – some new and some tried and true – all of which will inspire you in your call to womanhood.

So, subscribe to HiveResources.com today! You don’t won’t miss any of the inspiration or giveaways!

See you Oct. 17th!

Melissa

 

 

 


About

Melissa Deming is the creator of Hive Resources — a site to help women sweeten their walk with Christ through Bible study, ministry and missions resources, and more. She is the author of "Daughters of the King: Finding Your Place in the Biblical Story." Melissa has an M.Div. in Women’s Studies from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary.

  • Mail
  • |
  • More Posts (292)

Fairy Tale to God’s Tale: Lessons Learned From An Incurable Dreamer

October 18, 2011 By: demingglobal11 Comment

Peeking into her room you can see her.  A pig-tailed little girl is holding her baby doll and giving her a bottle. Putting her sleeping baby down she moves to cooking dinner. Lovingly and painstakingly she makes sure everything is mixed just right and all the dishes are set on the miniature kitchen table. Setting the food on the table she excitedly looks for someone to try her vivid, yet imaginary, home cooked meal.

In this little girl’s fairy tale dreams, Prince Charming will one day ride in on his white horse and sweep her away to exciting places unknown. She will be a mommy, have a home, maybe a job, or, this little girl’s idyllic role, the best home room mother ever!

Fast-forward twenty or thirty years. This same little girl may now find herself far from the fairy tale world she imagined. She may still be single or single again. She may be married with children or without. She may be living in a sprawling suburban home or she may simply be grateful for the efficiency apartment she has managed to afford.  She is definitely tired!

[pullquote style=”left” quote=”dark”]I am an incurable dreamer, always dreaming of the ideal and then running right into reality. I have found myself desperately holding on to pre-conceived fairy tale dreams only to give up that I would ever truly be the woman whom God would favor. [/pullquote] Women are continuing to search for contentment and happiness, especially when life today looks nothing like what she had imagined. Many women will read Proverbs 31 and silently laugh that there is no way to measure up to THAT woman. After all, the Proverbs 31 woman is merely a mother-in-law’s description of the type of woman her son should marry and who can measure up to that? Add to it the challenge when real life just does not look like the fairy tale.

We have all been there. We find ourselves hanging on to what we wished it would be or giving up any hope of being the woman God wants us to be.  I am an incurable dreamer, always dreaming of the ideal and then running right into reality. I have found myself desperately holding on to pre-conceived fairy tale dreams only to give up that I would ever truly be the woman whom God would favor.  When I finally let go of the fairy tale and fully grasped God’s tale for my life, I realized there were lessons to be learned for this incurable dreamer that lead to living a life of biblical femininity in a world of mixed messages for women.

It’s not about a certain look but about the principles. 

The number of reality shows on television today is staggering. From The Real Housewives of you fill in the blank, to glimpses into the marriage and family relationships of celebrities, unconventional families and families we admire, to body and home makeovers, the popularity of these shows begs the question. Is the real reason we are watching these shows is to have a point of comparison that affirms that we are doing okay?

Biblical femininity is not about a certain look but it is about being a woman who lives by the principles set in Scripture in whatever circumstance she finds herself.

In some circles, there is a sense that if you are not married by a certain age, something must be wrong. Or they pity the woman who doesn’t have children and then secretly wonder why she didn’t adopt. In other circles it is the issue of educating children. If a woman doesn’t homeschool, she simply must not be as good a mother as the other.  Even in our churches, there is often the sense that the life and family of a woman must look a certain way for her to be “okay.”

The world and feminism has its own message. You can have it all and do it all. A woman can have a family, a career, be fit and find happiness all at once. And if a woman chooses to do otherwise, something must be wrong with her.

These mixed messages leave women scrambling to work overtime to orchestrate their lives to appear to be a certain way. The result is women who do not feel like they measure up and begin to look at their own lives, questioning their femininity simply because they don’t look like everyone else.

[pullquote style=”right” quote=”dark”]Letting go of the fairy tale and grasping God’s tale means that He knows what He is doing in your life and you have to trust Him. [/pullquote] I must admit, while I have come to accept that biological and even adopted children are not part of God’s plan for my life and our family, I have struggled with feeling like a lesser woman because of that loss. I have felt the eyes of pity and have even asked God what I did wrong. But, at the end of the day, I realize my life is exactly where God intended it to be and my life is rich with more than a quiver full of spiritual daughters.

Letting go of the fairy tale and grasping God’s tale means that He knows what He is doing in your life and you have to trust Him. He has you where you are for a purpose, even if you are not quite sure what that purpose is for today. Your responsibility is to live the life God has called you to live, in the way He has called you to live it, and leave what it looks like to Him.

It’s not about confinement but about freedom.

Feminism has convinced women that any limit of choice or opportunity leads to confinement or even oppression.  The God ordained and God created roles for men and women are not about confinement or oppression but about the freedom to be all that God intended.

The roles God designed for women are for our safety, benefit, and freedom. They are not about oppression.

A loving parent provides boundaries, guidelines and direction for her child, not in order to oppress or hold the child back, but to provide safety and the best opportunity to grow into the young man or woman that child was intended to be. This is exactly what God has done for us, His daughters, when He set clear boundaries for us.

Do I have to like all the boundaries in place? Not necessarily. I do need to trust that God has my best and trust that it just works better if I live my life as close to the model God gave in Scripture.

In day to day life this means that we work to affirm the leadership of our husbands and not usurp that authority. We work to submit our strong-wills to God while developing a “gentle and quiet” spirit.  It means that when scripture gives a command or direction that we don’t rationalize it away.

It’s not about submission to all men but to one man.

Have you noticed that the definition of modesty has changed?  Honestly, there is just too much skin being shown. It is my soapbox. I have even developed a saying, “No shadows or cracks in the front or the back!”   The reality is, however, that the modesty issue is a symptom of a greater problem.

Is the lack of modesty reflecting that the world today, impacted by feminism, is teaching women to be submissive to all men?  Is the lack of modesty giving men what women perceive they want in order to be acceptable?  Is the lack of modesty one more way to manipulate men? Is it, in reality, pushing women to submit to all men?

Scripture commands wives are to submit to their own husbands. Women are not commanded to submit to all men.

It is clear that women are to submit to and respect their own husbands. I know, it is that dreaded “s” word . . . submission. But, the biblical concept of submission is not a forced subordination but when one willingly places oneself under the leadership of another.

I married when I was twenty-six. Before then, I had been on my own for quite some time.  I was raised to be a strong, resourceful, independent, woman.  I just could never imagine what submitting to a husband would look like. Over my twenty-years of marriage it has been and continues to be a daily lesson of letting my husband lead.  It means holding my tongue when I want to be critical. It means consciously deferring to him and seeking his wisdom and advice. It is showing him respect. It is even recognizing when I don’t think he may be “leading right,” I still have the responsibility to submit to his leadership.

It’s not about what I can do but about what I should do.

In the Broadway musical Annie Get Your Gun there is a duet with one male singer and one female singer attempting to outdo each other in increasingly complex tasks.  The memorable lyric of the song is, “Anything you can do I can do better. I can do anything better than you.”

This could almost be the national anthem of feminism and the worldview of women today. The message is being so tightly woven in the fabric of our culture today that women will almost gasp with indignation if someone suggests that a woman “can’t do that.”  The issue is not whether a woman CAN do certain things but whether a woman SHOULD do certain things.

Women may be capable doing something and, in some circumstances, even do it better,  but that doesn’t mean they should.

As a woman in ministry, I face these issues often. What should a woman do in a church and what should she not.  I teach women who have the gift of communication and they are very good at being able to open God’s word and clearly teach the truths that are there. Do they have the ability to teach the Bible to men and women? Yes.  Should they teach the Bible to men and women?  No.  Scripture is clear that women are not to teach or have authority over men.  The question then becomes not can I use my gifts, talents and abilities but how should they best be used?

A wife in a marriage should ask herself the same question. I can do this, but should I?  God in His wisdom has given me a husband that is a little easier going and laid back. He is wiser than I am but he also takes a little more time to process situations than I do. I have more “book smarts” but am at times lacking on the wisdom side. I am an administrator at heart and a quick decision maker. When my husband and I are faced with a decision, I at times want to jump to the solution quickly. I can do that but should I?  Wouldn’t it be better to give my husband the time he needs and let him take the lead?  It is not whether I can but whether I should.

It’s not about the fairy tale but about God’s tale.

As little girls we all have dreamed of fairy tales and placed ourselves in the role of princess with her Prince Charming. Maybe you are still dreaming of a fairy tale and you are a damsel in distress waiting for the hero to run in and save you.

Fairy tales are fun but seldom come true. Life is still full of dragons and villains. There are some Prince Charmings in this world and heroes do swoop in to save damsels in distress. But, only if it is part of God’s tale for your life.

Real life begins when you embrace God’s tale for your life.

I am an incurable dreamer. I don’t think I will stop being one. Now, though, I dream of the future God has for me. I look at my past and see God’s hand every step of the way. And for today, I will walk the path He has for me . . . no one else’s . . . and I will strive to take each step in the manner He demands.

It’s okay to dream. Are you dreaming fairy tale dreams or God’s tale dreams?

 

A wife and published author, Terri Stovall serves as the Dean of Women’s Programs and Associate Professor of Women’s Ministries at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Fort Worth. Her book, ‘Women Leading Women,’ outlines a biblical paradigm for women’s ministry in the local church. Photo credit: Mia Coelho Photography | www.miacoelho.com.

 

 

About

Melissa Deming is the creator of Hive Resources — a site to help women sweeten their walk with Christ through Bible study, ministry and missions resources, and more. She is the author of "Daughters of the King: Finding Your Place in the Biblical Story." Melissa has an M.Div. in Women’s Studies from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary.

  • Mail
  • |
  • More Posts (292)

Girl Power Giveaways! (Winner Announced)

October 18, 2011 By: demingglobal123 Comments

Biblical womanhood is no joke! The task of living out God’s divine design for women is hard work, and sometimes a girl just needs a little help! To help empower you to live out biblical femininity, Hive Resources is giving you the chance to win one of these inspiring “girl power” resources.

How can you win one of these books? Simply ‘like’ Hive Resources on Facebook and come back and leave us a comment telling us you did so! (Be sure to tell us which book you have your eye on). For non-facebook users, simply leave us a comment. Giveaway ends Friday (Oct. 21) at midnight! We’ll pick five winners! CONTEST HAS ENDED! Winners announced at bottom of post!

 Radical Womanhood: Feminine Faith in a Feminist World by Carolyn McCulley

Written to her “thirty-year-old self,” author and speaker Carolyn McCulley’s book ‘Radical Womahood’ is not for the weak. In a market flooded with books on biblical womanhood, McCulley writes about feminine faith from the perspective of a single woman. A former feminist and women’s studies student, McCulley upholds the path of true joy and fulfillment comes when a woman embraces the radical nature of what it means to be created in the image of God.

Book Summary: With radical feminism dominating the media from magazine pages to television sitcoms, Christian women are increasingly (and often unwittingly) misled as to the destructive path of feminism for faith and life.  ‘Radical Womanhood‘ describes what it means to be made in the image of God and live truly empowered, radical lives as women of faith.

What I liked about the book:

  • The author includes real, personal stories of courage and victory from women who have transitioned from feminism, prostitution, and abusive marriages to find joy in embracing biblical womanhood.
  • The author provides a condensed view of the women’s suffrage and reform movements, while allowing the book to read as a practical tool for inspirational living.
  •  The author allows the God-created role of “helpmate” first outlined in Gen. 2:14 to include a wife giving counsel to her husband, negating the unfair characterization by feminists that the biblical principle of submission means a woman must act like a dormouse.
  • The author emphasizes a woman’s need to form an independent faith, particularly in broken marriages and crisis situations.

Who should read this book?

  • Single women. Although married women should read this book, I think single women (of all ages) particularly will draw inspiration from the author as she shares both past mistakes and present successes on her journey of living out biblical womanhood as a single woman.
  • College girls. As a former women’s studies student in a secular university, college girls will particularly benefit from the author’s insight to traps set by feminist perspectives of biblical womanhood.

Because of its fresh perspective and practical insight into living out feminine faith, Hive Resources gives ‘Radical Womanhood’ three honeycombs. We recommend that all women – married, single, newlywed, and college gals – add this resource to their arsenal for godly living.

 Girls Gone Wise in a World Gone Wild by Mary Kassian

Are you a wild child?  In her latest book, ‘Girls Gone Wise In A World Gone Wild,’ award-winning author and women’s speaker, Mary Kassian explains that all Christian women have a “wild side.” Distinguished Professor of Women’s Studies at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, Kassian guides women through the snares of “wild” living touted by the world today.

Book Summary: ‘Girls Gone Wise’ calls women to grow in biblical femininity and discernment regarding the empty promises of culture by unpacking the story of the “typical Girl-Gone-Wild” in Proverbs 7. Noting 20 points of contrast between a “Wild Thing” and a “Wise Thing,” the author exposes the end result of living a life outside of Christ and the joy found in embracing Scripture’s call to femininity.

What I liked about the book:

  • Despite her academic background, the author has an easy-to-read, entertaining writing style.
  • Far from outlining a list of do’s and don’ts for godly living, the author emphasizes a woman’s need to cultivate her walk before the Lord by aligning her heart (her beliefs) with her feet (her behavior).
  • Far from railing against pop culture, this book is basically an inspiring and engaging exposition of Proverbs 7. Kassian makes the portrait of the “Girl-Gone-Wild” in Prov. 7 leap off the page into a contemporary setting.

Who should read this book?

  • Married women of all ages. Despite the kitschy cover art, this book speaks to the heart of women of all ages.
  • Single women. The truth Kassian draws from biblical passages on women will encourage single women to stay focused on their true purpose in life and passion for Christ.
  • Mothers of daughters. The book provides wonderful conversation starters for mothers and their teens on what godly living should look like in a culture gone wild.
  • Bible study groups. Because this book is chock full of practical tips for godly living in a ungodly culture, ‘Girls Gone Wise’ would make for lively Bible study or women’s small group material.

Hive Resources gives ‘Girls Gone Wise’ three honeycombs, because it is basically a spoon full of sugar (if sugar was miraculously good for you). It was by far, our favorite recommendation in this hive. We recommend that women of all ages buy this book for themselves and their daughters.

 Becoming God’s True Woman by Nancy Leigh Demoss

Book Summary: ‘Becoming God’s True Woman’ is a compilation of articles calling women to a counter-revolution in the evangelical world regarding biblical womanhood. Written by well-known women’s authors such as Carolyn Mahaney, editor Nancy Leigh Demoss, and Susan Hunt, the book’s four parts explore the scriptural mandate for wives to be “helpers” to their husbands. The book explores God’s divine design for women, modern day challenges to biblical womanhood, and the freedom and joy found in becoming God’s true woman.

What I liked about the book:

  • The book speaks to the world’s unbiblical fixation with equating a person’s value with their role in life.
  • The book gives practical tips from Scripture for avoiding extremes in biblical womanhood (ie: “embracing caricatures of femininity or rejecting it all together”). From help setting priorities to offering probing questions for self-evaluation, ‘Becoming God’s True Woman’ is a well-rounded tool for women seeking to live in light of God’s call to value home and family.
  • The book is realistic in its view of the difficult nature and task of living out biblical womanhood.
  • Editor Nancy Leigh Demoss offers an insightful look into the life of Mary of Nazareth. The 17 key characteristics of biblical womanhood outlined by Demoss will both inspire and challenge readers in their own call to rediscovering femininity.

Who should read this book?

  • Married women. Hive Resources recommends this book for women struggling to understand or live out biblical womanhood. And because the book offers a concise explanation of biblical womanhood, it would make for a great introduction for someone unfamiliar with Scripture’s plan for the genders.
  • Women’s small groups. Published with practical application questions at the close of the book, ‘Becoming God’s True Woman’ would make for a great small group study.

Hive Resources gives ‘Becoming God’s True Woman’ two honeycombs. Because it is a stellar resource written by trusted women of faith, we recommend Hive readers add this book to their Amazon wish-list right away. Why didn’t we give it three honeycombs? Although helpful, truthful and insightful, it is very similar to other books on the market.

Let Me Be A Woman by Elisabeth Elliott

Written to her daughter on the eve of her wedding, Elisabeth Elliott’s ‘Let Me Be A Woman’ is a mainstay for Christian women of all ages. Uniquely equipped by life’s experiences (widowed twice, married three times), Elliott helps women discern their identity in Christ while tackling issues concerning modern women.

Book Summary: While pop culture encourages women to view biblical womanhood with disdain, ‘Let Me Be A Woman’ discusses the significance of living out God’s divine design for the genders – true freedom and peace. Because gender is a gift given by the Giver, Elliott also calls women to accept their womanhood with thanksgiving.

What I liked about the book:

  • Despite being written at the height of the American feminist movement (1970s), the author’s words of caution still apply today.
  • The author draws on her experience as a missionary to the Auca people of Ecuador to demonstrate God’s plan for the genders transcends culture and social conditioning.
  • The author grounds her perspective of womanhood in the nature of God revealed in Scripture.
  • The author exposes the false dichotomy created by liberationists that biblical womanhood and intellectual pursuits are incompatible.

Who should read this book?

  • Married women of all ages. Elliott’s outline of “what makes a marriage work” includes both key biblical beliefs and practical insights.
  • Single women. Having lived as both a single woman and widow, Elliott’s sage advice concerning biblical womanhood stretches beyond marital status to the heart of a woman’s divine design.
  • Newlyweds. Because the book’s original reader is a new bride (Elliott’s only daughter), ‘Let Me Be A Woman’ is a treasure house for newlyweds or those engaged to be married.

Because of its beautiful prose and keen biblical and cultural insights, Hive Resources gives ‘Let Me Be A Woman’ three honeycombs. We recommend that all women add this resource to their personal library.

 The Resolution for Women by Priscilla Shirer

Book Summary: Birthed out of Sherwood Picture’s Courageous Movie, ‘The Resolution for Women’ encourages women to champion God’s plan for marriage with an eye on transforming families and communities for Christ. Written by Bible study author Priscilla Shirer, ‘The Resolution for Women’ is a call to intentionality and includes 13 resolutions regarding life inside key spheres of a woman’s influence. Much more than a call to submission, this book is a call for authenticity in faith and family.

What I liked about the book:

  • The book is organized into short, easy-to-read vignettes allowing the reader to interact more closely with the text and Scripture. The thought-provoking questions offered at the close of each segment make the book well- suited to serve as a daily devotional.
  • I appreciated the author’s emphasis on women’s value and giftedness before Christ and the resulting loss of “uniqueness” caused by feminist theory.
  • While the world assigns self-worth based on the significance of assigned roles, the author aptly encourages women to view the value of their identity through the lens of their relationship with Christ. This truth is indispensible both for accepting God’s plan for femininity and fleshing out biblical womanhood in their own unique lives.
Hive Resources gives ‘The Resolution for Women’ three honeycombs, mainly because we were refreshed with its emphasis on authentic living. We whole-heartedly recommend this book to women in need of inspiration and tools to grow their family in Christ.

Don’t forget to enter our giveaway to win a free copy of one of these “girl power” resources!

‘Like’ Hive Resources on Facebook and come back and leave us a comment telling us you did so! (Be sure to tell us which book you have your eye on!) For non-facebook users, simply leave us a comment. You have till Friday (Oct. 21) at midnight to enter! Five winners will be picked! Contest has ended. See winners below!

Winners from Random.org are:

 1st: LATONYA R 2nd: REBEKAH C 3rd: GLENDA 4th: NBURRIS 5th: JESSICA DOHNER

Congratulations ladies! I’ll be emailing you shortly to confirm your book choice! Thank you to all who participated!

About

Melissa Deming is the creator of Hive Resources — a site to help women sweeten their walk with Christ through Bible study, ministry and missions resources, and more. She is the author of "Daughters of the King: Finding Your Place in the Biblical Story." Melissa has an M.Div. in Women’s Studies from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary.

  • Mail
  • |
  • More Posts (292)

Seeking a better reflection: shattering the image of false femininity in reality TV

October 17, 2011 By: demingglobal13 Comments

After getting cable for the first time in years, I discovered Bravo TV’s “Real Housewives” franchise. It only took one episode to suck me into the over-dramatized world of professionally-applied makeup, hair extensions, lavish parties, and posh apartments. With cameras crammed in their faces, the claims of these so-called housewives are as robust as their shoe collections – wives and mothers who simultaneously want it all, have it all, and control it all.

In the Season 4 title sequence to the Real Housewives of New York City, the cast offered up pithy life philosophies despite the ugly realities often surrounding their daily lives. In her intro spot, cast member LuAnn de Lesseps touted: “I thought I had it good before, but I’m just getting started” referring to her recent transition from Duchess to divorcee. Cast member Sonja Morgan croons in her intro spot: “I have a taste for luxury, and luxury has a taste for me,” omitting news she recently filed for bankruptcy.

Honestly, watching the Real Housewives franchise is like watching a train wreck. Only you can’t tear away your eyes because the cars are drunk off rose wine and in imminent danger of careening off the track in four-inch Louboutin heels.

Despite being educated, beautiful, and cultured, it will come as no surprise that the image of femininity showcased by this reality program runs counter to the portrait of noble women painted on the pages of Scripture. And after watching just a few minutes of the Real Housewives of New York City, I glibly concluded that I wasn’t anything like them.

Those women are pernicious, I said to myself.

They are self-absorbed and shallow.

They treat their children and husbands poorly.

They are territorial and condescending.

They don’t take responsibility for their actions or words. They play the blame game.

They don’t view reality in the proper light. Life is all about them.  

As a Christian, work-at-home mother of two, the thick line I drew between us came with great ease. But by the episode’s end, I was faced with a rather disarming realization. Could I be more like these “lucky” ladies of reality television than I realized?

And although there are very real and glaring lifestyle differences between us (I don’t have live-in help, nannies, or personal assistants, and …oh yeah…I spend most my day in pajama pants and converse), I couldn’t help but wonder if my life as a woman of God unwittingly reflected the culture around me more than Christ.

And if my own journey as a woman of God is in danger of poorly reflecting the purposes of my Savior, then perhaps other Christian women are guilty of conforming their minds to the wrong likeness as well. I can’t help but wonder: could the portrait of the modern housewife as depicted by Bravo TV be an ugly, yet very realistic reflection of the vast majority of Christian women today?

Here’s why I believe it is easier for a modern “church” gal like myself to look more like the housewives of reality television than she realizes.

First, very often Christian women have bought into the lie that we can have it all.

As modern women, we often believe we can have it all – wealth, health, family, career, and the fulfillment of all our personal dreams. And not only has our culture told us that it is possible to have it all, but we’ve also been led to believe that we are entitled to it all.

Pursuing dreams is not a bad thing. Neither is it bad for a woman to seek to balance career and family in a God-honoring way. But the power of the lie of entitlement resides not simply in the lie itself, but in the doubt such a lie generates in our minds.

In fact, this lie is one of the oldest in the book. Literally. You see it first appear in the life of the world’s very first woman. Even though the good Creator freely gave Eve every good gift for abundant living, she easily bought into the lie that there was something she lacked.

Gen. 3:6 tells us: “When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it.”

Eve discerned that the forbidden fruit was good to eat, “purty” to look at it, and had some great side effects. But it is not the goodness of the fruit that is in dispute. Today, the forbidden fruit might even be classified as a superfood! Yet, Eve’s disobedient actions revealed an ugly doubt in her heart – if God is withholding good gifts from me, then perhaps He is not such a good God.

As a testimony to His good character, God had a good plan for Eve’s life. While being created equal in value and personage to her husband, Eve was assigned a different role than that of her husband. Scripture tells us Eve was created to be her husband’s ‘helper’ – a term elsewhere in Scripture to denote the helping quality of God himself (Ex. 18:4). Today, God’s good plan for the genders remains the same.

[pullquote style=”right” quote=”dark”]False femininity assumes women can and should have all life’s good gifts without restriction. True femininity trusts in the good character of God as the sole giver of good gifts.[/pullquote] Despite being convinced of the veracity of Scripture, I am often tempted to doubt the goodness or importance of my role as my husband’s helper. At issue is the question of God’s goodness in withholding the equally “good” role of leader from me. Alternative approaches to the marriage relationship as presented by our culture and reality TV often appear as that plump and juicy fruit hanging from the forbidden tree. They may appear attractive. They may appear to work really well. The alternatives may even appear to yield good results. But in choosing to operate outside God’s expressed will or Word for femininity, we become guilty of more than simple disobedience. We become guilty of doubting God’s good character.

At its core, then, true femininity is an issue of the heart. False femininity assumes women can and should have all life’s good gifts without restriction. True femininity trusts in the good character of God as the sole giver of good gifts.

Second, very often Christian women have bought into the lie that we know best.

Like it or not, modern women are products of three different waves of feminist theory – a political ideology re-positioning the woman as the ultimate authority over her life (contra any other social, relational, or political structure).[i] With the woman as the ultimate authority in her own life, she then becomes the executive determiner of what’s best for her.

Like Eve in the garden, Christian women today have been deceived to doubt not only the good character of God, but the good directives of God as well. Still today, we often operate under the deception that we can enjoy the goodness of life apart from the Good Creator Himself.  As New York Housewife Cindy Barshop says in her Season 4 intro spot: “I have all I ever wanted, and it’s all on my own terms.”

[pullquote style=”left” quote=”dark”]False femininity assumes a woman alone knows what is best. True femininity trusts that a good God gives good gifts in accordance with His good knowledge.[/pullquote] While we might not resort to the wild shenanigans of reality TV stars, hijacking the train can be accomplished in subtle ways in the life of Christian women. If married, we can easily disregard God’s good Word in the Scriptures regarding the roles of husband and wife. If single, we can easily disregard God’s good Word concerning the joy of sex within the parameters of the marriage relationship. If leaders in the church, we can easily disregard God’s good Word for women in ministry. All are good gifts – marriage, sex, ministry – but their goodness is to be enjoyed in the way our good God designed.

Not every good gift is good for every woman. False femininity assumes a woman alone knows what is best for herself. True femininity trusts that a good God gives good gifts in accordance with His good knowledge.

 Third, very often Christian women have bought into the lie that we can find fulfillment outside of Jesus Christ.

The lie that anything other than a relationship with Jesus Christ will fulfill us is the most devastating lie of all.  Scripture tells us the self-made path reaps desperation and destruction. Prov. 14:12 says: “There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death.”

Before Eve reached among the leaves to grab hold of the forbidden fruit, life in the garden was pretty good. Actually, it was perfect – perfect because God’s designs are always perfect. God’s plan for our lives, while not always pretty or easy, will always bring about our greatest fulfillment and His greatest glory (Rom. 8:26-30).

Eve’s desire to find fulfillment outside God’s plan for her life resulted in cosmic consequences. Rather than experiencing ultimate joy and fulfillment, the path she carved out for herself was characterized by desperation and disunity (Gen. 3:15-21).

[pullquote style=”right” quote=”dark”]False femininity assumes a woman is capable of obtaining personal fulfillment on her own terms. True femininity trusts that a good God gives good gifts in accordance with his good knowledge for the woman’s good purpose.[/pullquote] The lives of the Real Housewives warn us that buying to the lies of false femininity results in, at best, bad marriages, divorce, bankruptcy, or participating in a really bad music video at the age of 45. But at its worst, the lies of false femininity jettison us on a track of desperation and destruction.

False femininity assumes a woman is capable of obtaining personal fulfillment on her own terms. True femininity trusts that a good God gives good gifts in accordance with his good knowledge for the woman’s good purpose.

A BETTER REFLECTION

Self-evaluation is like trying on swim suits in February; it’s an ugly affair. After all, one of the main reasons we as women avoid mirrors is to ignore or evade the magnification of our flaws. But thankfully, we serve a good God who personally speaks good Words to our hearts so we can enjoy His good plan for our lives. The recovery of God’s divine design is half the battle in shattering the mirror of worldly perspectives often reflected in Christian women today.

And while the world characterizes biblical femininity as outdated, old-fashioned, and even oppressive, Scripture’s claims are quite the contrary. Biblical femininity is not mindless maid-service such as fetching your husband’s toast or keeping women out of the Oval Office, according to Real Housewife of Orange County Alexis Bellino. Nor is it about wearing the color pink, pearls, or pleated skirts and penny loafers.

True femininity is about keeping Christ central in our heart’s affections. When Christ is seated squarely on the throne of our heart, we will trust in His provision and His purpose for our life. One of Scripture’s implicit examples of true femininity is revealed in the life of Ruth, whose story promises women centuries later that biblical womanhood in modernity is both possible and rewarding. Consider the following:

  • Ruth trusted God’s good character.

When her life circumstances took a turn for the worse, Ruth willingly trusted in the good character of the God of Israel. The choice to trust Yahweh was not an easy one. As a childless widow in the Ancient Near East, Ruth had no means of self-preservation. It would have been easier for Ruth to remain in her home country (Moab) and return to her Moabite family. Yet she chose to remain with her mother-in-law and identify with the God of Israel.

The iconic words uttered between the women on the road to Bethlehem speak of Ruth’s relationship with Naomi and with the Israelite God who once only belonged to her husband. Ruth 1:16 says: “Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.” In choosing to return to Bethlehem with her mother-in-law, Ruth trusted in God’s good character to protect and provide for her despite the ugly circumstances surrounding her.

  • Ruth trusted God’s good Word to her.

We are all familiar with the infamous scene on the threshing floor between Ruth and the man who stole her heart, Boaz (Ruth 3). Commentators make much of Naomi’s pre-event plotting and Ruth’s pre-event grooming, insinuating both had poor intentions for the evening. (Ruth 3:1-5). But with respect to biblical femininity, Ruth trusted in God’s Word concerning His provision for widows. Before Ruth found herself in need of a redeemer, God had already spoken a Word of provision and protector for her in the Levirate Law (Deut. 25:5-10).

But despite this law, would it have been easier for Ruth to search for a husband among her Moabite kinsman or even among the single Hebrew men of her own age? Undoubtedly so. Ruth’s choice to trust God’s good Word to provide a husband from among her late husband’s family was both difficult and dangerous. More importantly, Ruth’s choice to trust God’s good Word for her life yielded her not only personal fulfillment (a loving union with Boaz) but an eternal legacy in the lineage of Christ (Ruth 4:18-21).

  • Ruth trusted God’s good plan for her.

The cry of Ruth’s heart was quite distinct from the boisterous claims made by women of the Real Housewives franchise. The author of Ruth reveals to us that this heroine’s femininity was not based solely on her biological makeup. Rather, in the life of Ruth, true femininity included a demeanor or disposition that God deems as good (1 Pet. 3:3-4). The spirit in which Ruth approached Boaz to seek His favor (first to seek permission to glean from his fields and later to seek provision for marriage) speaks of true femininity.  She did not presume upon her right to glean in the fields even though the Law allowed widows to do so (Lev. 19:9-10). Nor did Ruth presume upon Boaz when broaching the subject of marriage on the threshing floor. Instead of a spirit of entitlement, we see a woman seeking favor with great gentleness.

In trusting God’s good plan for her, Ruth demonstrates a powerful trust in both God’s good character and God’s Word to her. Her example shows us that true femininity is a clearly an issue of trust.

Her life story inevitably spurs us to self-evaluation. Will we, as women facing mounting culture pressure to reflect a false femininity, choose to trust God? Like Ruth, will we choose to trust the Scripture’s claim that a good God gives women good gifts in accordance with His good knowledge for His good purpose? Or will we align our heart’s affections with the image of false femininity presented in reality programming?

 

[i] For a historical look at feminist theory and its impact on U.S. public policy and the Western Church, see Mary Kassian, The Feminist Mistake: The Radical Impact of Feminism on Church and Culture, Crossway Books (2005).

 

About

Melissa Deming is the creator of Hive Resources — a site to help women sweeten their walk with Christ through Bible study, ministry and missions resources, and more. She is the author of "Daughters of the King: Finding Your Place in the Biblical Story." Melissa has an M.Div. in Women’s Studies from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary.

  • Mail
  • |
  • More Posts (292)
 photo Blog__Social_Facebook_zpsb0b723f7.png photo demingglobal_2Social_Instagram_zpsca674a66.png
 photo Blog__Social_Email_zps52e71349.png

My Books

  
 photo Blog__Social_Facebook_zpsb0b723f7.png
Must Follow Womens Ministry Leaders
Missional Women Conference

Recent Posts

  • Heart & Hive Bible Study Journals & Stickers July 17, 2018
  • Hive Resources Online Summer Bible Study June 7, 2017
  • Sweeter than Honey (a study for new Bible students & teachers) June 27, 2016
 photo demingglobal_Sidebar_GrabMyButton_zps8901949f.png
Hive Resources
<div align="center"><a href="http://hiveresources.com" title="Hive Resources"><img src="http://i1055.photobucket.com/albums/s518/jennystewart/demingglobal_BlogButton_zps54671d62.png" alt="Hive Resources" style="border:none;" /></a></div>

Copyright © 2021 · FPM Custom Theme By French Press Mornings